Life After Death
Just Another Day
The morning and afternoon of April 24, 2023, was like most days. Just an ordinary day spent taking care of family / work responsibilities and working on personal goals. However, everything changed that evening when my dad called to tell me my youngest sister Yalonda wasn’t feeling well. She was having trouble breathing and my parents called 911 to have her taken to a local hospital.
As I drove to the hospital, l asked God to stabilize her breathing and help her recover from whatever was causing the issue. Although I knew her condition was serious because it required an ambulance trip to the hospital, I was totally confident she would recover.
I had no reason to think otherwise. I had just seen her two days ago. She was in good spirits and seemed to be getting back to full strength after experiencing severe pain for a couple of weeks. I even texted her the morning of April 24th to ask her how she was feeling. She texted back to say she was feeling much better. In fact, she was feeling so good that she decided to work that day.
The Moment Life Changed
After my family and I arrived at the hospital, we were escorted to a waiting room. After several minutes passed, the attending doctor entered to tell us Yalonda was unconscious when she arrived. The doctor then told us she was not responding to any efforts to resuscitate her heart.
It was at that moment life came crashing down on me.
I was 51 years old and nothing in life had prepared me for that kind of unexpected loss, pain, and grief.
My Grief JourneySince that night, I have felt everything from fatigue, brokenness, and sadness to hope, peace, and gratitude. In many ways, my grief journey has felt like the changing of seasons.
Winter
During the first few months, most of my emotions felt like Winter. Life felt like the bitter cold. My heart was crushed and broken just like David described in Psalm 34:18. Most of life felt dead and heavy. At times, I felt guilty because I wondered if I could have done more to help Yalonda. I was even angry at God for allowing her to leave this earth at such a relatively young age.
But in the middle of living with a broken heart, there was a part of me that was thankful I got to spend almost 46 years of life with my sister. I rejoiced because Yalonda was with our God in heaven. Knowing she had trusted Jesus to be her Lord and Savior brought me peace. I was happy for her because she was finally receiving her reward and she no longer had to experience the pains of this world.
Early SpringThen after a few more months passed, life started to feel more like the early days of Spring. It’s the time when flowers start to bloom and leaf buds start to show on trees. They are signs of new life. Signs of hope. As I thought more and more about God’s promises, and His faithfulness to Yalonda and our family, the more I experienced His comfort and peace. For the first time since her passing, I started feeling like it might be possible to feel restored and whole again. I had slowly moved to a place described in Psalm 71:19-23.
Where am I now?
I’m now in a place that feels like mid-Spring. It’s during that time of year when the weather frequently changes. One day is cool, or rainy and overcast. Another day is sunny and warm.
I still experience times when I deeply miss Yalonda. I miss her presence at family gatherings. I miss her sense of humor. I miss being able to talk Indianapolis Colts football with her. I miss our friendly joking about which school was better – her alma mater or mine. But just as important as all these things, I miss the inspiration and encouragement I got from seeing her live out her faith during life’s good and difficult times.
I still have moments when I cry because she’s no longer here for me to talk with or hug. Perhaps, the day will come when I no longer shed any tears or feel any sadness. However, I’ve come to accept that it’s ok if I occasionally experience those moments for the rest of my life because grief is different for each person.
But while I still miss her, I’m now starting to feel restoration and new life that I couldn’t imagine being possible during those early weeks of grieving. I have a greater love for God because He’s the One who is healing my broken heart just like the songwriter described in Psalm 147:3.
I’ve come to know Him as someone who understands what it feels like to lose a loved one. He knows life will never be the same for me, but He promises to help me navigate the grieving process. The Lord has given me His comfort, strength and a peace that defies human reasoning. He also has blessed me with people that I get to keep loving and being loved by.
The Lord is helping me create a new life that’s filled with cherished memories of Yalonda, more empathy and capacity to serve others, a stronger desire to live for eternal rewards, and so much more!
The Invitation
As you and I both know, death is a part of life. We’re all going to experience the loss of a loved one at some point in our lives. The encouraging news is that we don’t have to deal with the loss by ourselves. If you’re going through the grieving process right now, please don’t travel this journey alone. There’s a God who loves you and wants to be with you every step of the way. He’s inviting you to let Him be the source of everything you need to feel restored again.
For His glory,
MarcusCreative Design Director
Psalm 34:18
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. (New Living Translation)
Psalm 71:19-23
Your righteousness, O God, reaches to the highest heavens. You have done such wonderful things. Who can compare with you, O God?
You have allowed me to suffer much hardship, but you will restore me to life again and lift me up from the depths of the earth. You will restore me to even greater honor and comfort me once again.
Then I will praise you with music on the harp because you are faithful to your promises, O my God. I will sing praises to you with a lyre, O Holy One of Israel. I will shout for joy and sing your praises, for you have ransomed me. (New Living Translation)
Psalm 147:3"He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.” (New Living Translation)